Feb 23, 2022·edited Feb 23, 2022Liked by Heather Havrilesky
This is amazing advice but also an amazing letter. I'm merely an enthusiastic reader, but am excited for TMB's burgeoning writing career based on the delivery of that condom analogy alone.
I love that your book upsets people. I love that review where you changed the course of a marriage. I am a big music fan and seem to fall in love with stuff that is sloppy and gritty but so directly from the heart. That is why I love your writing so much, it’s freaking beautiful. Beauty isn’t shiny and perfect, beauty is all of it, I’m still learning this. And to Trying My Best, if you have been reading Heather’s writing since you were in middle school then I have faith in you and your courage. PS, You wrote a freaking book!!! 💚💚💚
Part of being a writer is also being very sensitive to words, so using the very specific words one needs to use to self promote feels off if you don't fully believe that every imaginable sense of the definition applies to you - which, how could it, because they're such big concepts!? I try to remember that that's not how many people relate to language, and also that the definition/sense of the words in the context of promotion is not the same as how I would look at them as an editor of a manuscript.
Feb 23, 2022·edited Feb 23, 2022Liked by Heather Havrilesky
Love this letter and the response <3
It also reminds me of an old Ask Polly I love. I have pieces of it taped in one of my diaries (hilariously, I was able to find it by googling "ask polly burrito candles", since that example was what I remember most about it):
To be clear: I don't think the current letter writer is whining at ALL, and I think grappling with being publicly available in any way is much harder than people give it credit for (being too focused on achieving public attention as the "goal"). But I still find this 2013 letter really inspiring for owning what you write!
yes! yes! yes! reading about being sassy radish one day sparked a whole new direction for me. I loved Foreverland.
I work in a field where there are a whole lot of opinions but a dearth of savoring. But coming here and reading about working through the shit and being honest is what helps me show up in a way that I actually like. It feels like a superpower. LW, congrats to you. You're not alone and just reading this I remember this thing I want to publish and ran away from publishing.
"Inside every writer, there lives a diarist, an obnoxious circus clown, a thief, a teacher’s pet, an assassin, a seductress, and a deluded old hag, throwing a tantrum. Learn to love all of them."
I have a memoir coming out in June and this is exactly I needed to read right now. Whew.
Future author here, going on 20 years. You might have just made it possible for me to shift into a current author. I cannot thank you enough. I cannot thank you, enough.
This is amazing advice but also an amazing letter. I'm merely an enthusiastic reader, but am excited for TMB's burgeoning writing career based on the delivery of that condom analogy alone.
I love that your book upsets people. I love that review where you changed the course of a marriage. I am a big music fan and seem to fall in love with stuff that is sloppy and gritty but so directly from the heart. That is why I love your writing so much, it’s freaking beautiful. Beauty isn’t shiny and perfect, beauty is all of it, I’m still learning this. And to Trying My Best, if you have been reading Heather’s writing since you were in middle school then I have faith in you and your courage. PS, You wrote a freaking book!!! 💚💚💚
How do you always know exactly what it is I need to read? Thanks.
I love this letter. I love this response. I am going to read it every day. For a bit. Thank you Polly, as ever.
PS I despised that nyt “review” and most of the comments. What a dull, reactionary place this country can be!
I needed so badly to read this today, as I struggle to keep the faith with my "weird" fiction manuscript in progress. Thank you.
A teacher's pet! An assassin! I am her, and she is me. Thank you.
I am not a writer and this piece is helpful to me in so many ways........
Part of being a writer is also being very sensitive to words, so using the very specific words one needs to use to self promote feels off if you don't fully believe that every imaginable sense of the definition applies to you - which, how could it, because they're such big concepts!? I try to remember that that's not how many people relate to language, and also that the definition/sense of the words in the context of promotion is not the same as how I would look at them as an editor of a manuscript.
Love this letter and the response <3
It also reminds me of an old Ask Polly I love. I have pieces of it taped in one of my diaries (hilariously, I was able to find it by googling "ask polly burrito candles", since that example was what I remember most about it):
https://www.theawl.com/2013/05/ask-polly-jesus-my-struggling-writer-friends-never-shut-up/
To be clear: I don't think the current letter writer is whining at ALL, and I think grappling with being publicly available in any way is much harder than people give it credit for (being too focused on achieving public attention as the "goal"). But I still find this 2013 letter really inspiring for owning what you write!
yes! yes! yes! reading about being sassy radish one day sparked a whole new direction for me. I loved Foreverland.
I work in a field where there are a whole lot of opinions but a dearth of savoring. But coming here and reading about working through the shit and being honest is what helps me show up in a way that I actually like. It feels like a superpower. LW, congrats to you. You're not alone and just reading this I remember this thing I want to publish and ran away from publishing.
"Inside every writer, there lives a diarist, an obnoxious circus clown, a thief, a teacher’s pet, an assassin, a seductress, and a deluded old hag, throwing a tantrum. Learn to love all of them."
I have a memoir coming out in June and this is exactly I needed to read right now. Whew.
Your book was awesome Heather, Thank you.
My first book is coming out in four days and I needed this. Thank you.
Future author here, going on 20 years. You might have just made it possible for me to shift into a current author. I cannot thank you enough. I cannot thank you, enough.
STANDING OVATION. This is spectacular.