Last night I came home from work late and tired, having walked home in cute new boots that made my feet hurt from my day at the office in my "hybrid" job where going to the office feels like playacting and just leaves me wrung out. I stopped at the store and picked up fresh bucatini, sauce, meatballs so I could get dinner on the table for my growing 15-year-old (who always requires meals) and came into the house ready to slam it together. He was hovering expectantly in the kitchen I was trying not to be grumpy as I dug through the really awkward and messy pantry nook for the big pasta pot. I shook loose a bag of cocoa powder from the top shelf that flew open and coated the entire pantry nook in cocoa powder and I lost my shit in a string of vicious expletives. I started to clean it up and realized I couldn't deal and asked him to please do it which he did, reasonably well.
Later, after mediocre bucatini and sauce and meatballs, we shared a perfectly crisp, sweet and juicy apple and he told me things were going so well for him at school right now he almost feels overwhelmed. It was the best night.
I hate that I can't like or reply to a lot of these, not sure why! I press Reply and no box pops up. I'm reading everything here nonetheless. Next time I'll use the thread format, even though I don't like it as much. Clearly this hurricane of hate is overloading the system!
I hate being super obese because I’m just a person on the inside and people who don’t know me don’t see that first, or sometimes ever.
How did I get here? Years of anti-depressants accelerated rapid weight gain (before they determined the medications “contributed” to weight gain). I have never eaten two Big Macs or 6 pizzas or whatever people believe about fat people. I’m not at all lazy, I’m educated and successful. Once I hit 300 pounds, it really hurt to move and my depression multiplied and I started having a couple of drinks almost every night to ease the pandemic panic. Then I moved less and snacked more, but I eat 9 vegetables a day most of the time (really obese people tend to know a ton about nutrition from all the diets and nutritional education they’ve been through). I can’t stand candy or junk food. Now I’m 50 and the only exercise I can do is swimming.
Luckily, I really don’t care what strangers think of me, most of the time it doesn’t cross my mind or I’d never leave the house. In my mind, I’m normal size. When I see a photo of myself I spiral into an out of control depression, the reality seems hopeless and I can’t believe people love me.
I really hate it, it’s a constant battle covered in a mountain of hatred and judgement from society. We’re the last segment of the population that it’s acceptable to openly hate on. And prey on. Any doctor will tell you you’re a “perfect candidate” for surgery, but I’ve seen what the surgery does in the long term. Someday it’ll be outlawed, it’s not a viable solution, though some suffer through it.
Anyway, the struggle is real. Hug a fat person today! Be kind above all else.
Right, thanks for your invitation to hate things, Heather - I love to hate things! Off the top of my head, then, I hate:
- our day's focus on spend, spend, spend! Or: buy, buy, buy shit you don't need with money you don't have so that the world economy can grow, grow, grow because nothing is ever enough in a liberal capitalist society. Cue the "festive period"!
- relating to the above, our obsession with work and the unspoken view shared my most that if you're not interested in living in a full-time office/shop bound hamster wheel, then you're a lazy fuck and need to perish;
- my royally messed up depressed mind, nobody bloody asked for this and whyyy does it have to be me who fixes it?!?
- house prices. Fuck them and also older generations who get to own their homes while I'm funding their property nest egg with my monthly rent (sorry, order generations, it's not exactly personal)
- vaccine hesitancy, especially in the family. Like, if you're a stranger, I don't even care, be stupid and/or fearful and/or stubborn all you want. But GOD I hate this in my own family.
- people who don't bother with masks. You selfish pricks.
- cars and traffic jams. Unless you live in the outback, I'll allow it then. Otherwise, you can fucking use the world class public transport our corner of the world has access to. Stop insisting on shipping around your solo sorry ass in a four/five/six-person machine that's setting the world on fire, dickhead
- social media, all of it.
- men as a species. Don't even get me started.
- people who insist they have to have their own children to "feel fulfilled". Go see an orphanage, asshole, and also fix the adoption/fostering process while you're at it
- last, but not least, being a cranky misanthropic old person with unpopular/cancellable opinions while actually living in a millennial body 🙃
Ive been ghosted after date 7 by the first good prospect in a year, had my replacement feel-better date cancel on my the day of, my best friend is ignoring my texts and I’m half worried she’s not doing well half pissed off about that, my roommate just threw my Amazon package in the garbage because she resents answering the door when it rings and I spilled a glass of water on my work laptop five minutes ago. And my ex I’m not over and who I’d take back tomorrow just got engaged to someone who’s richer and has the degrees I wanted from the schools I didn’t get into and the job that rejected me and a tiny nose and massive boobs. Today i can’t hear ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ or ‘don’t jump to the worst conclusion’. Today blows. Tomorrow by comparison will have to do a pretty incredible job if it wants me to feel this bad again though, so good news is when I wake up tomorrow it probably won’t be as bad. I’ll rant here instead of to friends.
I lost my entire shit at multiple people at our local warehouse store last week because they weren't wearing masks (which is mandated in our state). I yelled and cursed and it felt SO GOOD in the moment and then I felt like a supreme asshole.
I'm so fucking mad at my family who has been so stubborn over this entire pandemic and now won't even do a rapid test so we can all get together for Christmas. They think their precautions are good enough and we should all be fine with what they decide.
I remain furious at everyone who is OK with immunocompromised people just DYING like nbd. I will be forever furious at everyone who says "we're all gonna get it eventually" as if our FEAR OF DYING or living with another disability from long covid is unreasonable! Everything is broken!
Not having UBI for everyone on the planet. Can you imagine how many great artists, poets, scientists, thinkers we would have if we had time, safe shelter and food to pursue what matters to us? All I see is this culture of working yourself to the ground so at the end of the day, even with that much work the only thing you can do is merely survive.
And we always say to ourselves: "One day, maybe one day I will pursue what I really wanted for some time now."
I hate it, i want to get off this system and run into the desert and become an archaeologist. Also a planetary scientist. No I'm not kidding, i just like science.
I hate my ex so so so much. He just quit his job so that his income will be less than mine for 2021 which will mean that I have to pay him child support after tax time next year. Meanwhile his dad is paying his rent for him, oh and did I mention that he just got a gun license (somehow the protection orders I had against him were irrelevant to that?) and he’s planning to go buy a bunch of guns.
I hate not having clarity. Other people know what they want and need, and can see through situations. I see fog and I hate it.
I hate that we're destroying the planet and nobody stops buying useless shit, as if it's all a matter of recycling.
I hate bad manners. I mentioned to my boyfriend's sister that I just bought a cute house in Urbanville, and she said "Ew, Urbanville".
My leech of an ex husband I also hate. I supported him through grad school (until he was 40!) and the moment he got a job, married a young girl, abandoned our kids and demanded my pension.
I hate how society frames everything as "you have to work to live," but then after working I run out of energy and time to actually live! And there's so many dumb people out there spewing their hatred and stupidity and anger that it makes me feel like I have to hold in any ounce of righteous frustration I have and replace it with going off and being the main person responsible for fixing it (which is impossible to do alone and impossible to change at the flick of a switch - I'm thinking about the climate crisis here but goes for many things). I hate the housing market and how people upcharge for land and homes and shit just because people need them more. I hate when people don't think they'll ever be wrong. I hate that underneath-the-skin feeling I get when I'm talking to someone I can just tell has bigger expectations of where I should be at. I hate how we're all so under a microscope with technology - I want to be able to go disconnect for years, work really hard on some stuff and then bring it out into the open, not be expected to create with an open door for viewing. I hate this damn pandemic and all these silver linings we hoped it would create in the structure of our society that never came to fruition. I hate how the people with the most power never feel like they have to or should change. I never get to vent anymore because we're all feeling the same shitty-ness and it's just never as cathartic anymore but damn I'm glad for this thread. Somewhere to shout it all into the void!!!
Thanks for opening up our rad complaining circle, it's great to be here!
I second the person who said that they were straight up tired of FEELING. I hate that the pandemic brought my feelings back to life for the first time since I was little and that I have to face them and live with them. UGH. WORST TIME TO FEEL AGAIN. I hate feeling like being safe and cautious and realistic isn't cool these days. That so many people have decided that we should just keep living how we did before. I guess they're ignoring their feelings too. I HATE THAT WE ARE TRAINED TO DO THAT. I hate feeling tired and stressed and achy and uncomfortable most of the time. I hate that everyone is tapped out with no recovery in sight. I hate that it's so hard for me to feel joy most of the time. I hate that people won't take care of each other. I hate not being paid enough money to live modestly. I'm so pissed off that my own breakthroughs about myself are coming during the pandemic. I get so mad that my boyfriend and I can't go to a diner because it's short staffed and everyone inside isn't wearing a mask or tipping the waiter. I hate that work just takes and takes and takes from people. I can't take my own brain shitting on me anymore. I HATE INSTAGRAM.
I hate when someone does something that annoys me but my brain extrapolates this unique situation to be emblematic of a theme (e.g. - a man at work interrupts me; I get pissed off with the patriarchy, or a friend's behavior reminds me of dysfunctional family dynamics and I'm not only pissed off at the friend but also at my dysfunctional family). It's not that my brain is necessarily wrong - I just find it easier to get over unique annoyances and go about my day. The bigger themes tend to ruin my mood and make me dwell.
I hate how 19 months later we are still having to figure out Covid protocol. I hate how every initiation of a social event that could be inside requires a discussion about people's comfort levels and hesitancy to commit and discussion about getting tested first. No one entertains inside anymore (I say this as someone who is pro-mask and is triple-vaxed). I feel like I have forgotten how to dress because I need to bundle up for outdoor stuff or dress like a camp counselor for sweaty/buggy stuff, depending on the season.
I hate how everything feels like/requires admin work-- the endless emails from my kids schools, planning social events (see above).
And I super fucking hate that we continue to be held by gunpoint by Republicans about addressing climate change.
Last night I came home from work late and tired, having walked home in cute new boots that made my feet hurt from my day at the office in my "hybrid" job where going to the office feels like playacting and just leaves me wrung out. I stopped at the store and picked up fresh bucatini, sauce, meatballs so I could get dinner on the table for my growing 15-year-old (who always requires meals) and came into the house ready to slam it together. He was hovering expectantly in the kitchen I was trying not to be grumpy as I dug through the really awkward and messy pantry nook for the big pasta pot. I shook loose a bag of cocoa powder from the top shelf that flew open and coated the entire pantry nook in cocoa powder and I lost my shit in a string of vicious expletives. I started to clean it up and realized I couldn't deal and asked him to please do it which he did, reasonably well.
Later, after mediocre bucatini and sauce and meatballs, we shared a perfectly crisp, sweet and juicy apple and he told me things were going so well for him at school right now he almost feels overwhelmed. It was the best night.
I hate that I can't like or reply to a lot of these, not sure why! I press Reply and no box pops up. I'm reading everything here nonetheless. Next time I'll use the thread format, even though I don't like it as much. Clearly this hurricane of hate is overloading the system!
I hate toxic positivity!!!! I can reframe after I feel my feelings please and thank you!
I hate being super obese because I’m just a person on the inside and people who don’t know me don’t see that first, or sometimes ever.
How did I get here? Years of anti-depressants accelerated rapid weight gain (before they determined the medications “contributed” to weight gain). I have never eaten two Big Macs or 6 pizzas or whatever people believe about fat people. I’m not at all lazy, I’m educated and successful. Once I hit 300 pounds, it really hurt to move and my depression multiplied and I started having a couple of drinks almost every night to ease the pandemic panic. Then I moved less and snacked more, but I eat 9 vegetables a day most of the time (really obese people tend to know a ton about nutrition from all the diets and nutritional education they’ve been through). I can’t stand candy or junk food. Now I’m 50 and the only exercise I can do is swimming.
Luckily, I really don’t care what strangers think of me, most of the time it doesn’t cross my mind or I’d never leave the house. In my mind, I’m normal size. When I see a photo of myself I spiral into an out of control depression, the reality seems hopeless and I can’t believe people love me.
I really hate it, it’s a constant battle covered in a mountain of hatred and judgement from society. We’re the last segment of the population that it’s acceptable to openly hate on. And prey on. Any doctor will tell you you’re a “perfect candidate” for surgery, but I’ve seen what the surgery does in the long term. Someday it’ll be outlawed, it’s not a viable solution, though some suffer through it.
Anyway, the struggle is real. Hug a fat person today! Be kind above all else.
Right, thanks for your invitation to hate things, Heather - I love to hate things! Off the top of my head, then, I hate:
- our day's focus on spend, spend, spend! Or: buy, buy, buy shit you don't need with money you don't have so that the world economy can grow, grow, grow because nothing is ever enough in a liberal capitalist society. Cue the "festive period"!
- relating to the above, our obsession with work and the unspoken view shared my most that if you're not interested in living in a full-time office/shop bound hamster wheel, then you're a lazy fuck and need to perish;
- my royally messed up depressed mind, nobody bloody asked for this and whyyy does it have to be me who fixes it?!?
- house prices. Fuck them and also older generations who get to own their homes while I'm funding their property nest egg with my monthly rent (sorry, order generations, it's not exactly personal)
- vaccine hesitancy, especially in the family. Like, if you're a stranger, I don't even care, be stupid and/or fearful and/or stubborn all you want. But GOD I hate this in my own family.
- people who don't bother with masks. You selfish pricks.
- cars and traffic jams. Unless you live in the outback, I'll allow it then. Otherwise, you can fucking use the world class public transport our corner of the world has access to. Stop insisting on shipping around your solo sorry ass in a four/five/six-person machine that's setting the world on fire, dickhead
- social media, all of it.
- men as a species. Don't even get me started.
- people who insist they have to have their own children to "feel fulfilled". Go see an orphanage, asshole, and also fix the adoption/fostering process while you're at it
- last, but not least, being a cranky misanthropic old person with unpopular/cancellable opinions while actually living in a millennial body 🙃
Ive been ghosted after date 7 by the first good prospect in a year, had my replacement feel-better date cancel on my the day of, my best friend is ignoring my texts and I’m half worried she’s not doing well half pissed off about that, my roommate just threw my Amazon package in the garbage because she resents answering the door when it rings and I spilled a glass of water on my work laptop five minutes ago. And my ex I’m not over and who I’d take back tomorrow just got engaged to someone who’s richer and has the degrees I wanted from the schools I didn’t get into and the job that rejected me and a tiny nose and massive boobs. Today i can’t hear ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ or ‘don’t jump to the worst conclusion’. Today blows. Tomorrow by comparison will have to do a pretty incredible job if it wants me to feel this bad again though, so good news is when I wake up tomorrow it probably won’t be as bad. I’ll rant here instead of to friends.
I lost my entire shit at multiple people at our local warehouse store last week because they weren't wearing masks (which is mandated in our state). I yelled and cursed and it felt SO GOOD in the moment and then I felt like a supreme asshole.
I'm so fucking mad at my family who has been so stubborn over this entire pandemic and now won't even do a rapid test so we can all get together for Christmas. They think their precautions are good enough and we should all be fine with what they decide.
I remain furious at everyone who is OK with immunocompromised people just DYING like nbd. I will be forever furious at everyone who says "we're all gonna get it eventually" as if our FEAR OF DYING or living with another disability from long covid is unreasonable! Everything is broken!
Not having UBI for everyone on the planet. Can you imagine how many great artists, poets, scientists, thinkers we would have if we had time, safe shelter and food to pursue what matters to us? All I see is this culture of working yourself to the ground so at the end of the day, even with that much work the only thing you can do is merely survive.
And we always say to ourselves: "One day, maybe one day I will pursue what I really wanted for some time now."
I hate it, i want to get off this system and run into the desert and become an archaeologist. Also a planetary scientist. No I'm not kidding, i just like science.
Fuck the culture of work.
Really hate this Supreme Court
I hate my ex so so so much. He just quit his job so that his income will be less than mine for 2021 which will mean that I have to pay him child support after tax time next year. Meanwhile his dad is paying his rent for him, oh and did I mention that he just got a gun license (somehow the protection orders I had against him were irrelevant to that?) and he’s planning to go buy a bunch of guns.
I hate not having clarity. Other people know what they want and need, and can see through situations. I see fog and I hate it.
I hate that we're destroying the planet and nobody stops buying useless shit, as if it's all a matter of recycling.
I hate bad manners. I mentioned to my boyfriend's sister that I just bought a cute house in Urbanville, and she said "Ew, Urbanville".
My leech of an ex husband I also hate. I supported him through grad school (until he was 40!) and the moment he got a job, married a young girl, abandoned our kids and demanded my pension.
I hate how society frames everything as "you have to work to live," but then after working I run out of energy and time to actually live! And there's so many dumb people out there spewing their hatred and stupidity and anger that it makes me feel like I have to hold in any ounce of righteous frustration I have and replace it with going off and being the main person responsible for fixing it (which is impossible to do alone and impossible to change at the flick of a switch - I'm thinking about the climate crisis here but goes for many things). I hate the housing market and how people upcharge for land and homes and shit just because people need them more. I hate when people don't think they'll ever be wrong. I hate that underneath-the-skin feeling I get when I'm talking to someone I can just tell has bigger expectations of where I should be at. I hate how we're all so under a microscope with technology - I want to be able to go disconnect for years, work really hard on some stuff and then bring it out into the open, not be expected to create with an open door for viewing. I hate this damn pandemic and all these silver linings we hoped it would create in the structure of our society that never came to fruition. I hate how the people with the most power never feel like they have to or should change. I never get to vent anymore because we're all feeling the same shitty-ness and it's just never as cathartic anymore but damn I'm glad for this thread. Somewhere to shout it all into the void!!!
Thanks for opening up our rad complaining circle, it's great to be here!
I second the person who said that they were straight up tired of FEELING. I hate that the pandemic brought my feelings back to life for the first time since I was little and that I have to face them and live with them. UGH. WORST TIME TO FEEL AGAIN. I hate feeling like being safe and cautious and realistic isn't cool these days. That so many people have decided that we should just keep living how we did before. I guess they're ignoring their feelings too. I HATE THAT WE ARE TRAINED TO DO THAT. I hate feeling tired and stressed and achy and uncomfortable most of the time. I hate that everyone is tapped out with no recovery in sight. I hate that it's so hard for me to feel joy most of the time. I hate that people won't take care of each other. I hate not being paid enough money to live modestly. I'm so pissed off that my own breakthroughs about myself are coming during the pandemic. I get so mad that my boyfriend and I can't go to a diner because it's short staffed and everyone inside isn't wearing a mask or tipping the waiter. I hate that work just takes and takes and takes from people. I can't take my own brain shitting on me anymore. I HATE INSTAGRAM.
I hate when someone does something that annoys me but my brain extrapolates this unique situation to be emblematic of a theme (e.g. - a man at work interrupts me; I get pissed off with the patriarchy, or a friend's behavior reminds me of dysfunctional family dynamics and I'm not only pissed off at the friend but also at my dysfunctional family). It's not that my brain is necessarily wrong - I just find it easier to get over unique annoyances and go about my day. The bigger themes tend to ruin my mood and make me dwell.
I have a google doc called “things I hate” that I wrote 10 years ago. Most of it still holds up:
People who drive really loud cars obnoxiously and also motorcycles
People who try to talk to me while I have headphones in (shutup)
Spam email
Fitting rooms
Fluorescent lights
Pencil sharpeners
Yelling
Excessive complaining
People who shouldn’t have blogs but do
Lines
When I am late not of my own accord (like if the train breaks down)
Crowds
When all you want is McDonalds and its closed
The smell of airplanes
Waiting
Board games that aren’t fun and make everyone feel awkward because you all want to stop playing but no one wants to admit it
Raisins
PS. Can we do a things we love one sometime too?
I hate how 19 months later we are still having to figure out Covid protocol. I hate how every initiation of a social event that could be inside requires a discussion about people's comfort levels and hesitancy to commit and discussion about getting tested first. No one entertains inside anymore (I say this as someone who is pro-mask and is triple-vaxed). I feel like I have forgotten how to dress because I need to bundle up for outdoor stuff or dress like a camp counselor for sweaty/buggy stuff, depending on the season.
I hate how everything feels like/requires admin work-- the endless emails from my kids schools, planning social events (see above).
And I super fucking hate that we continue to be held by gunpoint by Republicans about addressing climate change.