I feel beautiful after reading this, honestly. You have to be beautiful to really *get* this letter I think. Heather, you always make me think and make me laugh and make me feel seen. That’s beautiful. Thanks for sharing your story with us. I’m glad you’re okay and on the other side of such a big surgery. Also, I would have shit my pants with delight if my mom had ever said anything like what you say to your kids. My mom used to walk into stores and jokingly ask “Do you have any big fat cow sizes?” when she was looking for clothes for herself. I feel beautiful being a part of this community. Sending love to everyone here!
almost at my birthday and this past year was: long lonely walks, facing my greatest fears, a straightforward rejection that gutted me, swimming in dirty rivers, learning patience, playing music in front of people for the first time, taking risks to follow my intuition. now it makes sense that I feel more beautiful than I ever have
I feel beautiful when I swim in the ocean, which for me is always somewhere off the North Carolina coast. I have OCD and generalized anxiety, and by all accounts I should be fucking terrified of the ocean, which is a scary place, but greater than any terror is the desire to be awash in something so vast, this place that is pulled by our moon into heart-stopping peaks and cascading foam.
"Consider the unnerving grace and potential transcendence offered by a straightforward rejection: I can’t do this. I don’t love you enough. I’m not really here. Let me go."
Nooooooooo :'( (Can you write an entire post about this?)
Oh, Heather. You're so wonderful & I'm so glad you're well, & writing these words to us, & making us all feel both more beautiful, & feel more beauty in the world, because of you.
I love this letter, and especially the comment above about crows feet and square jaw lines. I feel beautiful when I catch a glimpse of my changing face in the mirror, and I give it a big smile instead of trying to pull it back into a semblance of big eyes and pointy chin.
yes it is weird to be mid 40's and feeling more beautiful than ever - wrinkles and all! the inside out truth of it overwhelms some days - when young(er) and thinking external world's validation mattered most - while full of inner doubt and lack. Now I find I am feeling beautiful when I sit, when I am simply in the moment (gardening, writing, painting or walking in nature) - it feels like grace - or is is the sense of grace that feels beautiful?
Thank you for this! It gives me so much to look forward to, as a slightly younger person. It’s so exciting, to realize that things can and will get this much better as we get older - I didn’t believe that when I turned 30 a few years ago, and thought this was the beginning of the end (lol). Your writing has always given me strength and optimism for the future.
I recently added crows feet and jowls to my cartoon self portrait and updated my now rather square jawline from its previous v-shape. Because hey, that’s what I look like now. No biggie. I kind of like forward to not being admired for my looks anymore. I might already be there, lol. Haven’t been paying attention. Too busy.
THIS was so beautiful. You are a wonder. I'm 65 and I've just started feeling beautiful the past couple of years. Notice I'm smiling hugely at myself when I pass a mirror, as if I'm greeting a favorite friend. Truly think the new insides are radiating outward. Feel beautiful when I keep my ass in the chair and fall into flow with my writing, and when I get back up, however slowly, after getting knocked down.
I feel beautiful after reading this, honestly. You have to be beautiful to really *get* this letter I think. Heather, you always make me think and make me laugh and make me feel seen. That’s beautiful. Thanks for sharing your story with us. I’m glad you’re okay and on the other side of such a big surgery. Also, I would have shit my pants with delight if my mom had ever said anything like what you say to your kids. My mom used to walk into stores and jokingly ask “Do you have any big fat cow sizes?” when she was looking for clothes for herself. I feel beautiful being a part of this community. Sending love to everyone here!
almost at my birthday and this past year was: long lonely walks, facing my greatest fears, a straightforward rejection that gutted me, swimming in dirty rivers, learning patience, playing music in front of people for the first time, taking risks to follow my intuition. now it makes sense that I feel more beautiful than I ever have
I feel beautiful when I swim in the ocean, which for me is always somewhere off the North Carolina coast. I have OCD and generalized anxiety, and by all accounts I should be fucking terrified of the ocean, which is a scary place, but greater than any terror is the desire to be awash in something so vast, this place that is pulled by our moon into heart-stopping peaks and cascading foam.
"Consider the unnerving grace and potential transcendence offered by a straightforward rejection: I can’t do this. I don’t love you enough. I’m not really here. Let me go."
Nooooooooo :'( (Can you write an entire post about this?)
Oh, Heather. You're so wonderful & I'm so glad you're well, & writing these words to us, & making us all feel both more beautiful, & feel more beauty in the world, because of you.
Could you BE more fine? Nope.
x
I love this letter, and especially the comment above about crows feet and square jaw lines. I feel beautiful when I catch a glimpse of my changing face in the mirror, and I give it a big smile instead of trying to pull it back into a semblance of big eyes and pointy chin.
yes it is weird to be mid 40's and feeling more beautiful than ever - wrinkles and all! the inside out truth of it overwhelms some days - when young(er) and thinking external world's validation mattered most - while full of inner doubt and lack. Now I find I am feeling beautiful when I sit, when I am simply in the moment (gardening, writing, painting or walking in nature) - it feels like grace - or is is the sense of grace that feels beautiful?
Thank you for this! It gives me so much to look forward to, as a slightly younger person. It’s so exciting, to realize that things can and will get this much better as we get older - I didn’t believe that when I turned 30 a few years ago, and thought this was the beginning of the end (lol). Your writing has always given me strength and optimism for the future.
I recently added crows feet and jowls to my cartoon self portrait and updated my now rather square jawline from its previous v-shape. Because hey, that’s what I look like now. No biggie. I kind of like forward to not being admired for my looks anymore. I might already be there, lol. Haven’t been paying attention. Too busy.
thank you for sharing this ode to beauty, and for your candor.
it is an honor to witness you through your weekly writing here and ask molly. thank you.
This is everything - Goddess Bless You!!!!!
Needed this so badly ❤️ Thank you heather for your amazing writing
THIS was so beautiful. You are a wonder. I'm 65 and I've just started feeling beautiful the past couple of years. Notice I'm smiling hugely at myself when I pass a mirror, as if I'm greeting a favorite friend. Truly think the new insides are radiating outward. Feel beautiful when I keep my ass in the chair and fall into flow with my writing, and when I get back up, however slowly, after getting knocked down.
Nothing coherent to say but ahhhhhhhhh Polly you did it again <3
You are still here and I am hugely grateful for that. Thank you Polly.
Thank you.