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As a 25 year old girl too, I really needed to hear this. Life is just so stupidly hard these days. It's hard to find friends, hard to find a partner, hard to find a job, and even harder finding a job that doesn't totally bore you out of your mind. Yet there's plenty of older male co-workers around, huh. Not exactly my cup of tea either.

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Love this Heather! I will also say - I think some of this is just being 25 in NYC....NYC is a magical, fantastic place. It is also SO. FUCKING. HARD. Especially when you are just starting out. Money is tighter than it would be elsewhere and you feel trapped at times because leaving to go ANYWHERE else takes 6,000 times more effort than it would somewhere else. So why do we put up with it? Partially because loving NYC is like having Stockholm Syndrome. And partially because it's NYC or Nowhere. LW - don't worry...it sounds like you are on the up and up. Take that amazing job. EVEN if you hate it...if you stick it out 12-24 months you will forever have that paper on your resume and it will OPEN DOORS. Once your career gets going a little more some of the things that bother you won't be an issue anymore..maybe you can afford to just rent a car whenever you want and can go hiking on a Saturday. Also, work friends are not friends...or at least not great ones (minus the anomaly)...try to build a network of people. Trust me it will take time. It really will...BUT once you get there - I promise you will suddenly wake up and realize that you have the life you actually really wanted in the city. You just need to be a little more patient...and recognize that you have a bit of imposter syndrome...don't worry about it. The NYT isn't going to hire someone who doesn't deserve to be there. Good luck - I think you've go this. Just believe in yourself a little more and listen to Heather :).

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As a native NYer I get the sentiment. Everything is harder and more expensive. And worse... again. I can imagine how space and a car can seem like obvious perks growing up in surburbia. Alas. Take the job and put a year on it. See if building up your social network and setting up work boundaries help. Take in simple joys because ANY city is awesome when you're flush with cash. Almost none of my classmates from elementary school live in the old neighborhood and I pay a premium rent. It's a bummer but I'd rather here than anywhere else. So gentrification and a high cost a living have squashed many a dream, give it a year. There's no shame in being comfortable. No one is helping you pay rent or buy a property so it's gonna be hella hard. The first time I got an apartment, the application asked for my parents to be listed as underwriters. I was like no, who does that? A lot of people do.

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I used to see quotes from your old advice columns popping up on tumblr on the regular, I don't know if it's the kind of ~fame you wanted but ppl especially young ones keep reacting to your words and tagging them as "reminders" and "words to live by" and so on. (it was usually credited and linked back to the column btw)

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Such an infinitely quotable response… definitely reminded me that I’m in the right place ;)

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